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Sexual perverts on the prowl

 

  • How randy adult males, females prey on innocent underage boys
  • Sex worker seduces eight-year-old boy, sucks his manhood
  • Adult male caught defiling five-year-old boy escapes arrest
  • How to identify sexually abused boys —Expert

Many parents invest time and resources protecting the girl child from sexual perverts, ignoring the boy child who they presume are immune to such abuses. Similarly, local and international non-governmental organisations spend huge sums on enlightenment campaigns aimed at saving underage girls from sexual abusers without including the boy-child in their plans. The reality, however, is that many innocent boys are being sexually abused by both male and female adults, with many of the victims contracting sexually transmitted diseases and some even suffering depression. Worse still, many of the victims have also resorted to abusing other male and female children, INNOCENT DURU reports.

 

CHILDREN, especially the ones under 10 years, are usually presumed to be innocent and incapable of engaging in sexual activities. But that was not the case with eight-year-old Ayo who before that age had been defiled by an adult sexual pervert. Consequently, by the time he clocked age eight, he had not only become exposed to sex but recklessly so.

It was learnt that Ayo grew up as a child with other members of his family in a Lagos neighbouhood that also hosted a lot of commercial sex workers. One of the prostitutes in the neighborhood was said to have developed a likeness for Ayo, jokingly referring to him as her son and buying things for him, especially at Christmas. Of course, Ayo’s parents suspected no foul play, considering the age gap between their son and their prostitute neighbour.

“Along the line, the prostitute started sending Ayo on errands, and that continued until she began to take in the innocent boy in and started caressing him. She would hold him close to her and suck him gently with his hands placed on her breasts. At other times, she would tell the poor boy to finger her,”said John Wesley, a child counsellor who handled the victim’s rehabilitation.

After his initiation into the immorality, the naive boy began to see the act as ideal, hence he started trying it out on other children even in school.

Wesley said: “The number one effect was that the boy lost concentration in school and started to harass other female children of his age and those already developing breasts. The development was noticed by his teachers who reported it.

“Whenever anybody tried to rebuke him, he looked at them somehow because he had been having affairs with an adult female.

“It turned out a serious problem for the young boy as he did not believe that he had done anything wrong. But the boy is better now, and he even tries to distance himself from the opposite sex.

“It took a lot of effort to handle his case. I had to reach out to my friends abroad who belong to the same organisation with me. It required a whole lot of funding to take the boy through the revamping process.

“We had to do a whole lot of revamping, taking him through series of processes. For a long time, he was in a place like a boarding house, but strictly for boys. That was how he was gradually able to come out of it.

“The boy is in a government boarding school now and doing fine.”

Wesley also shared the case of a 14-year-old boy who was serially defiled and threatened by the elder brother’s wife.

He said: “The boy’s uncle was always not at home because he was always getting contracts and travelling here and there.

“The amorous affair started with the wife always telling the boy to come and sleep in their room for security reasons.

“Gradually she lured him into having affairs with her. She always threatened that she would poison the boy if he told anyone about it. Because he was always eating at home, he feared that the woman could one day actually poison him, so he told one of his relations about it.

“It was the person he told about it that mentioned it to us. We got the husband’s number and one of us suggested that we should call to tell him about the development. But I said no, because it might lead to murder, as we didn’t know the kind of man he was.

“To save the marriage from collapse, we called the woman and began to speak with her. We told her that we were aware of what happened between her and the boy and warned that if anything happened to him within or outside the house, she would go to jail.

“She told us she did not know how it happened. She said he was always at home with her.

“She told one of us that was always speaking with her that she was depressed. We managed the issue until we arranged for the husband to take the boy away without knowing what really transpired between the boy and the wife.”

Besides the aforementioned cases, Wesley said, “we have had about four others, but they were the ones who were even assaulting the females. At a young age, they had turned into rapists because they had gone through molestation from older persons.  They were like people who were demonized.

“Parents would always not want to speak out, and that deprives us the chance to go into the matter. Out of 10 cases, we would have access to only about two, because they fear that we would make it public.”

Mr Adaramola Sunday, the Executive Director of Emmanuel World Children Foundation, an NGO based in Ondo State,  said he was also a victim of defilement by an older woman at a tender age.

Sharing the tales of some sexually abused underage boys he has handled in recent times, he said:

“There was the case of a 14-year-old boy who actually went through that for a long time until we went to their school one day and he had to open up to us.

“The abuse started six years before then; which means it began at the age of eight.  Unfortunately, the woman abusing him was a younger sister to the mother.

“It started jokingly with the woman touching the genitals of the boy. She later graduated from that to sucking his manhood.

“At a point, the boy started feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing because he complained that he always felt guilty in church whenever the preacher spoke in that line.

“The lady in question lived with them, went to the university and returned during holidays to continue the affairs with the boy in the house.

“That is just one of the series of cases I have handled.”

The former National Chairman of Network Against Child Trafficking, Abuse and Labour (NACTAL) also shared the case of a junior secondary school (JSS1) boy who was being abused by an SS3 student who had taken the former as her school son.

“Ironically, it happened in a school where disciplinary level was very high.

“It started with exchange of gifts and doing assignments together.

“According to the boy, it got to a point where the girl started asking if he knew the colour of the pant that she wore. From there, she started making him to touch her breasts.

“The naïve boy started enjoying it with time and that went on for a long time until it became uncontrollable for both of them and people began to notice them.

“Tired of the ungodly relationship, the boy opened up during a Christian camp programme my organisation  conducted  for a church.

“The method we use after making presentations is to allow  kids to ask questions, but many of them would not come up openly to do so. We would then ask them to write their questions in paper with name and possibly not use their pen.

“He came to have audience in the following session. It took us a long time before we could sort it out. The boy kept on begging that his parents must not know about it.”

Recalling his personal experience at the hands of an older woman as a young boy, Adaramola said: “I had my own experience when I was younger with an older person who happened to be a neighbour’s daughter, and it went on for long.

“Abuse of the boy child does exist, because of the patriarchal society that we have. The society believes that boys have to be strong, that they have power and the monopoly of being on top of situations.

“When they are abused, boys usually don’t speak or report such incidents. A lot of these things happen right inside the house with relatives, house-helps and the likes, especially among people who live in big apartments. That was my own experience when I was younger.

“The boys often want such relationships to be as secret as possible because of the societal view to it and because of the family view or reaction.

“What we do often is to work with the boy and work out ways that the boy can actually prevent continuous reoccurrence.

“On some occasions, we have to let the boy tell the culprit that he has reported her to us and that we would take action  if it continued. That has helped in curtailing some of these things.”

Another NACTAL top member based in Lagos State, Ngozi Okoro, shared the story of  a 10-year-old boy serially abused by a 54 year-old woman in Lagos.

According to her, “the boy’s mother’s shop was close to where the grandmother was living. Every time he followed the mother to her shop, he would branch to greet the grandmother before returning to the shop. At times, he would stay there to play.

“There was a 54-year-old woman in the place. She had a son. But whenever the boy went there to play with her son, she would take the 10-year-old boy into her room and start abusing him.

“The boy became used to it to the extent that once they got to the shop he would go straight to the 54-year-old woman’s house, and the woman would send her son out so that she could continue doing what she was doing with the boy.

“She told him not to tell anybody about it and he didn’t. At a point, the mother started looking for the boy from time to time until they trailed him and saw where he entered.

“When they challenged him, he confessed what had been happening between him and the woman. That was how they called one of our members and invited  the police to arrest the woman.

“Surprisingly, we hear more of sexual abuse of boys now. They are being abused by both men and women. Parents need to watch out for their children and know what is happening to them.”

Like Adaramola, Prince Wiro, the Coordinator of Centre for Basic Rights Protection and Accountability, a non governmental organisation based in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, was also a victim of sexual abuse as a boy-child.

He said: “When I was growing up, the person that defiled me was an adult female. I was between seven and eight years old while the house-help who was doing that to me was between 18 and 19.

“It happened in early 1990/91. It is one experience that I have not forgotten.  My mother was staying with us then and there was no awareness about all this then.

“The house-help was like our mother. After some years, she took in for a man and she was sent away.

“There are some children that such experience will push into getting deep into doing that kind of thing because the adult has exposed them to what they ordinarily should not know about at that age.”

Ngozi Nwosu of  Vison Spring Initiative, a non-governmental organisation based in Ikorodu, Lagos, also shared the case of another  14-year old boy who  appeared to have been hypnotised by an older single lady.

She said: “In December last year, I handled a case reported to me during a training programme for widows. During the programme, three of the women reported the abuse of their sons. I am following up one of the cases now at Alausa (Lagos) because the mother said the boy hardly listens to her. She said that each time  she was coming back from work, the boy would run out from the room of a lady who was their neighbour. And when she asked him what he was doing there, he would say the woman asked him to unzip her dress.

“We are still making enquiries about the relationship between the boy and the lady. The boy is 14 years old.”

Accounts of adult males defiling underage boys

In spite of existing law against same sex sexual relationship in the country, checks revealed that homosexuality has been on the increase with the trend shifting to sexual abuse of underage boys.

Our correspondent who has been following developments on  various northern groups speaking against sexual abuse using a tweeter handle called @ArewaMeToo, reports of  the case of a young boy who has remained traumatised after his senior in a boarding school initiated him into the bestial lifestyle.

Sharing his ordeal on the above twitter handle with the subtitle ‘Boys are molested too’, the victim said: “Yeah! Am not bold enough to share my #ArewaMeToo story on my page. For a while, I wondered if I was gay, but I know I’m not. It happens sometimes to boys.

“It all started when I was attending a boarding school. It was a typical northern Nigerian English school. I was a straight male before this dude ruined my life and coded this worst sexual orientation in my brain.

“My first year in JSS class was hell. I was sluggish, naive and dumb. I was bullied by everyone, even those in my class, until this asshole enter(ed) my life. His name is Mubarak.

“He was huge and among the honoured bullies at that time in the school. He was in ss1 but even SS3 students were scared of him because he was strong.”

He then asked rhetorically: “Did you know what this motherfucker did to me? He protected me from being bullied. I thought he cared for me as a brother until one night, after isha prayer.

“I was in the bathroom and someone grabbed my butt. It was Mubarak. I thought it was the normal rough play that boys used to do in dorm until he started asking me some ‘jamb’ questions.

“I had my crotch grabbed by him numerous times and then (he would) point a small knife at my neck and said me and him would enter into trouble if I told anyone and he would kill me.

“From that day, I was really uncomfortable and also kind of scared of the guy. He forced me to watch gay porn with him. I was 13 and I knew nothing about sex.

“He started asking for blow jobs, hand jobs, whatever. He penetrated me about four times or more. I couldn’t speak up or tell anyone.

“Things started getting out of hands. I was seriously ill and was taken back home.”

Following the ugly experience, he said: “I begged my parents that I didn’t want to go back to the school and they agreed. It’s been eight years now. Mubarak is off my life but always in my memory.

“There is so much that I don’t want to remember or want to tell, but there is also so much I will never, ever be able to forget.”

That was just one of the horrible tales of how innocent kids in boarding houses have their sexual life distorted and their lives helplessly ruined.

Sometime last year, precisely in May, Prince Wiro of the Centre for Basic Rights Protection and Accountability, a non-governmental organisation based in Port Hacourt, Rivers State, said he  personally handled a case in D Line, Port Harcourt  where a 32-year-old suspect known as Chidi was caught trying to defile a 14-year-old boy.

He said: “When the community arrested the suspect, instead of sending him to the police station, they decided to fine him.

“I personally reported the case at Olu Obasanjo Police Station here in Port Harcourt. From there, the matter was transferred to the state CID and from there, it went to court. “Unfortunately, the parents of the child refused to come. They absconded with the boy. I don’t know if they were settled behind.”

He added: “I have also handled a case in D Street, where a man was trying to assault a five-year-old boy and when the parents of the boy caught him and raised the alarm, the man ran away. That case was personally reported to Azikiwe Police Station in Diobu, Port Harcourt. Diobu Vigilance Group was also made to be aware of the incident.”

Wiro regretted that parents only teach the girl child that they should not allow anybody to touch them here or there. But sex education now should be for both the male and the female child.

“You are also supposed to teach the boys that if somebody touches them where he is not supposed to, they should raise the alarm.”

Underage children living with disability are also taken advantage of by the perverts. Comfort Alli of Street Child Care and Welfare Initiative said: “There was this handicap boy that lives in a compound around Oshodi that was being sexually abused by one of the neighbours. Most of the cases are kept secret because families often feel it would rob off negatively on the child.

“During the days of Kuramo, there was a whole lot of sexual pervasion going on there. Some rich men would go there to pick these children, sleep with them and give them N1,500.

“It got to a point that some boys that we took from Kuramo started sleeping with themselves in the centre because they had been exposed.”

Because of the disturbing experience, Alli said: “I had to go for counselling myself. That was how much I was affected because it was too much for me.

“That was how we started hearing stories of how boys who have had sexual intercourse with a man before would behave. One of the ways of identifying them is that their nipples pop out because they get sucked.

“They are most likely to abuse others because they have been exposed to it. We did our best to curb it. It was really disgusting.

“There were reports of anal injuries among the boys. Among them were slangs like joko le’so (sit on nail). When you go and meet them, you will see that they are running temperature and not feeling very fine.

“Then at Kuramo, big men with very big cars would go to pick them. Now there are other places where such happen. These include, Marwa, behind this present house where you have runaway people living in shanties. Those ones are the ones on the island and also the Lagos Island Market.

“Of course, you know that wherever there is market, there would always be runaway children. When you come to the mainland, they are in large numbers at Oshodi, Mushin, Oyingbo, Ijora, Ido, Ikotun, Oko Baba, Oko-Oba and Agege markets.”

She clarified that she didn’t have those with anal injuries in her centre, “but two of the boys who were exposed had staphylococcus which we had to treat.  A lot of such boys become abusers if they are not well managed. Some of them don’t see girls as anything; they prefer boys.

“Their psyche has been damaged. They don’t fancy girls, they fancy males. Because they have been sexually abused by fellow males, they also want to do it to other males.

“A lot of them end up depressed because they don’t know how to handle it. They live a confused life and can’t concentrate in school. Their academics are affected and when they are with their peers they have low self-esteem.  They are always very unstable.”

With regard to her and her team, Alli said: “At some point, we try to reconcile them with their families, especially during holidays. When they take them back, you will begin to hear some funny stories like one of them who ‘fingered’ the sister and other disturbing tales like that.

“Remember I told you that they are confused and will try to find out their own sexuality.”

The list appeared endless as Nwosu also shared the story of  a 12-year-old boy who was abused by his senior in an Ogun State  faith-based school.

“He was abused till he fell ill.  He was traumatised and was emotionally down.

“In fact, this case was reported by the doctor because when they called the mother to come and take him, she brought him back to Lagos and took him to the hospital.  It was at the hospital that he told the doctor about what really happened.

“It was the doctor who confided in us that the boy was traumatised.  Children who are abused are tarumatised psychologically and emotionally and cannot concentrate in school, and they start abusing other children.

“They go off whatever you are saying. If you are saying A, they will be saying B.  If it is a case of a male abusing the child, he would be afraid of men, and if it is a woman that abuses a child, he would be afraid of females.

“At times, it pushes them into taking drugs, and by the time you discover it, they would have gone far.

“There are boys that are begging to come out of it.”

Concluding, she said: “The doctor told the mother to report the case so that they could help the boy. She said okay, she was going to think about it. But at the end of the day, what she did was to take the boy out of the school. But that would not solve the problem unless the boy visits a psychologist for psycho-social support and therapy to help him forget that experience.”

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